‘Relationship photos’ fuel friends by sharing content with their partners. Here’s how to set boundaries.

Sherman told Business Insider that someone who is in a relationship often talks a lot about their relationship, especially the issues they have. This can make the friend receiving the information feel overwhelmed; they can also produce a negative feelings about a partner what is being said about them.

If you’re friends with someone who’s having an affair, experts say there are steps you can take create boundaries and protect your friendship.

It can be difficult to set boundaries with ‘relationship chaos,’ but it’s still important to do so

Although it can be confusing, stressful, or upsetting to provide emotional support to someone in a relationship, it is important to remember that they are still your friend. There is a way to communicate boundaries while maintaining relationships.

Sherman told Business Insider that the best way to create boundaries is the “sandwich method,” where you start by sharing your feelings with your friend, then extend your boundary, and finally. verify their experience and try to help them find another winner besides you.

She suggests starting by saying something like, “I really like our friendship, and I like that we can share what’s going on in their lives.”

Now, to set up a limit around oversharingyou might say, “Lately, I’ve noticed that you’ve been talking a lot about your partner, and while I feel very fortunate to have that information, I don’t know how to help you.” if you need; Sherman suggested.

To close the sandwich method, you don’t have to leave them without a place to streaming or sharing. You might say, “I know this may be hard to hear; however, I know there are many resources out there for you. Do you want me to help you find another resource?” Sherman said.

Sherman told BI that at the time couples therapy It’s definitely a good tool to recommend, individual therapy can help too. It’s an unbiased tool that can help deal with some of the problems they have in a relationship.

“Often, there is also a need to be able to treat each individual do some of the challenges that you have a relationship with other people in your relationship and you have someone who doesn’t care about your real relationship,” Sherman said.

Your friend may not want accessories and may just want to express themselves

While giving resources to a friend can be helpful for both of you, your friend may not be looking for help and just wants to tell you about what’s going on in their relationship. And just because you don’t have the power to listen to their content all the time, it doesn’t mean that their opinions are worthless.

“I definitely think that friendship is a good place to talk about things that are going on in your relationship, but everyone’s ability to be supportive looks different – so one needs to have to introduce myself to know and recognize if they are being inspired or fired by what their friend is sharing,” said Sherman.

If you feel burned When you hear about your friend’s outburst, setting a limit might sound something like this: “Where I am in my life, I can’t help more than I already am, so I I will appreciate it very much if our friendship can be directed to certain issues. outside of your relationship goes first,” Sherman said.

If you still feel nervous about talking to your friend, that’s normal.

“It takes a lot of courage to be in that position weakness to be able to say, ‘Hey, can we do this dance differently,'” Hope Kelaher, a licensed social worker and author of “Here to Make Friends,“ a book about how to make friends as an adult, said Business Insider.

But Kelaher told Business Insider that it’s important to distinguish between nerves and real fear of communication. friendship issues.

“All relationships have ups and downs, so if you’re afraid that your friend won’t be able to handle the feelings that might be there and that will be the case. destroy the relationshipI’m warning people to think a little bit about the importance of that relationship,” Kelaher said.

What to do if you find yourself talking to the same friend over and over again

Most people who talk about their relationships more than their friends will admit are not intentionally trying to cross boundaries. Even if you feel like you’ve never been friends with someone who leans on you for emotional support in the midst of their relationship issues — or has demonstrated behavior — it’s still an example that Sherman and Kelaher you have seen again and again.

“I think this is something we’ve all been through. I, personally, have always been a giver and taker,” Kelaher said.

If you feel like you have shared a lot with your past relationship issues, or showing this way with your current friends, there are changes you can make.

Kelaher told Business Insider that people who realize they are relying on a certain friend to be a source of information about their relationship, especially their content, can create an “ecomap” for their relationship where they think with them as the center and identify the people they use as themselves. public resource.

“You want to change their value and their ability to go out and out,​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ emotional support,” Kelaher said.

Being a supportive friend is great, but it’s also important to set boundaries when hearing about a friend’s relationship issues becomes overwhelming. And when we have our relationship problems, it’s equally important to exchange what we go to a friend and who we go to.